| How do
you draw a blank? |
| If planets are in the sky,
are we in the sky too? |
| Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees
only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn't they be more specific and say
"employees of this place only!? |
| If shampoo comes in so many colours, why is the lather on your head always
white? Thanks to Lisa Silver for these contributions |
| If you choke a
Smurf what colour does it turn? Anonymous contributor. |
| If Snickers satisfy, why do they
make King Size? Richard
Wilson sent us this one. |
| When pigeons
walk their heads bob up and down really fast, doesn't that give them a bad headache? |
| Why don't you ever see baby
pigeons? Sent
in by Jonathan Harden (www.eviljonnys.com) |
| How can there
be a competition for solo synchronised swimming? Contributed by Stan Saunders |
| Why do people say "It's
always in the last place you look"? Of course it is always in the last place
you look, what kind of moron would keep on looking after he'd found it? Nick Slawicz sent this
contribution. |
| Why is a
building called a building when it is already built? |
| Why is there
only one Monopolies and Mergers Commission? Sent in by Fay
& John Hopkins |
| If one of the
synchronize swimmers drowns, do they all have to? |
| Why
is a doctors surgery called a practice?
John Hopkins |
| If the No. 2 pencil is so
popular, why is it still No. 2?
Thanks to and
anonymous contributor. |
If you butter
a piece of toast and drop it, it lands butter side down.
If you drop a cat it always lands on it's feet.
What would happen if you buttered the back of a cat and dropped that?Thanks to Richard Whiting
for this one! |
| People Who Ask
'Can I Ask You A Question?"
Contributed by Natalie - thanks When A Cop Pulls You Over And Asks You How Fast You Were
Going. You Should Know Pal You Pulled Me Over. |
| When Something
Is New And Improved. If It's New It Can't Have Been There Before But If It's Improved It
Must Have Been There Before. |
| How Some
People Will Get Off Their Lazy Asses And Search The Whole House For The Remote Control And
Yet Won't Go And Change The Channel On The Set Manually. |
| If people say
it's the best thing since sliced bread, what was the best thing before sliced bread? Anonymous contributor. |
| If a fly had
no wings is it a "walk"? |
| Why do
Kamakasi bombers wear helmets? |
| Why is the
lethal injection needle sterilised? |
| Why is there
an eject button on the remote when you have to get up to get the video? Above all sent in by Catrin
- thank you |
| Why do you
drive in a parkway but park in a driveway? |
| Why do they
sell cigarettes at gas stations? Anonymous contributor. |
| Do bees get
wax in their ears? |
| Has anyone
ever admitted to having an ugly baby? |
| If the Beatles
were so good why did Oasis have to rewrite all their songs? |
| Why are there
no TV adverts for pencils? Another Anonymous contributor. |
| Why do parking
meters only take 20p coins - you never ever have any to put in? |
| Why do radio
DJ's play a great song then don't tell you who sings? |
| Why is there
always someone behind you when driving in quiet country lanes? |
| Why do priests
sing in church when its obvious that they can't sing for England? |
| Why, on radio
shows, do they always talk about the most interesting item at the end of the show?* |
| Why do people
always keep old raffle tickets in their wallets or purses when the draw was months ago and
they obviously haven't won?* |
| Why do old
aged pensioners always tell you their ages? Thanks to Paul Edgar for these. |
| Why don't
sheep shrink when it rains? |
| Why are they
called apartments when they are all stuck together? |
| How does the
man who drives the snow plough get to work? |
| Why is the
Welsh language spelled wrongly? |
| How do you
play Chinese scrabble? These were all contributed by Keith Templeman - thanks. |
| What colour
hair do bald men put down on their driver's licence? |
| What happens
when curly haired people watch something that curls their hair? Thanks to Patricia
Powell for these gems. |
| Why do psychics advertise?
Don't they know who their customers are and shouldn't they seek them out? This contribution received
from Mitch Plott - thanks. |
| What would
happen if night fell and the earth wasn't there to catch it? Thanks to Sarah Balfour for
this contribution. |
The black box
flight recorder is painted orange, so why don't they call it an orange box?
Bev sent us this one,
thankyou.
I
am led to believe that, after burning, the box turns black - hence the
name but I am not sure if this is true or not.
|
| When a fly lands
on the ceiling, at what point does it turn upside down? Thanks to Paul Mattson for this one |
| Definition of pain - letting
off wind in a space suit. |
| Definition of sadness - dying
of starvation in a food store. Thanks to Jason Lewis for these! |
| Definition of a "ghetto
blaster". A terrorist in a slum neighbourhood. |
| Definition of "drag
racing". Racing from Point A to point B while wearing clothing of the opposite
attire Thanks
to Barry Munro for these two. |
| Is it because light travels
faster than sound that some people appear bright until you hear them speak? |
| If it is zero degrees outside today and it is
supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow how cold will it be? |
| Why do you press harder on a
remote control when you know the battery is dead? |
| Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? |
| How much deeper would the
ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it? |
| If man evolved from monkey and apes, why do we
still have monkeys and apes?
Man did
NOT evolve from monkeys and apes. Monkeys, apes, humans, and all
other modern primates evolved from a common primate ancestor. Mystery
solved! (by G)
|
| Before they invented drawing
boards what did they go back to? |
| How is it possible to have a civil war? |
| If you try to fail and
succeed, which have you done? |
| Why is it called the tourist season if you can't
shoot them? |
| If the black box flight
recorder is never damaged during a plane crash why isn't the whole plane made out of the
same stuff? Alan
Jameson kindly sent in all the above.
If a plane were made of the same material as a little black box the plane would be too heavy to fly!
This is coming from a 6 year old. Maria Barraza |
| Why is it that
when you blow in a dogs face he doesn't like it, but when you take him
on a car ride he sticks his head out of the window?
Anon
|
| If a dog's sense of smell is 100 times greater
than a human's, why do they have to stick their noses up your butt? James Wilhite
|
|
MORE IMPONDERABLES
CAN BE FOUND HERE and HERE
|
